Tuesday, October 31, 2023
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My beloved aunt and friend Alexandra-Helen Karafinas. Nitsa, as she was called when she was a child, Helen as she wanted later in her youth years, Alex in her mature age, and Alexandra in her later years.
With Alex, we had a lot in common... She was the eldest daughter of my grandmother's sister, i.e. my mother's first cousin. My mother Xenia, lived with the Karafinas family in New York, when she went there for her Masters degree in Education. Thus the two cousins developed a closer relation. Afterwards, whenever Alexandra visited Greece she used to stay at our house and we have always had a great time together. Actually the first time that we met in person I was 15 years old, on her first trip to Greece. Despite our age difference, from the beginning we "bonded" and became friends. Alex had always had a young spirit, she was optimistic, sociable, she liked company, feasts and Greek snacks!
She kept telling me to visit her in Long Beach. She would take me everywhere to show me everything. She was sure I would love it. And I really wanted it too. But the years passed and I have never went. And where we were making plans, when I finally had time, we were stopped by the measures against the corona virus. Then, a few months ago we discussed it again and said that we would make the dream come true shortly, in spring 2024. But... we missed our last chance...
Alex was a year older than my mother. She passed 13 years later than her. She was inspiring me with optimism about life. At the age of 98 (March 2022), Alexandra achieved the remarkable feat of authoring and publishing her precious book, while at the age of 95 she opened a facebook account, hiding her age by anagramming 95 to 59, and later a second account to promote her book.
Several of my FB friends are hers too, not knowing her real age. In this way she was hiding from racism against the elderly. Anyway, what is the age after all? Just a number. Then why is the world affected and changes behavior towards people when this number of their age is large? As we become old, do we lose the right to continue living like before? Why; Are we doing something wrong? Are we stealing years of life from others and therefore we should no longer live? Do we lose the right to be treated with respect, dignity, and fairness? This includes the right to services that take into account the needs, values, and beliefs, decisions about our own health and way of living.
Personally I was proud of Alexandra and I admired her. May we all reach 100 years of age and be like her! In our family, most of our relatives died at the age of 85-107 years. The pain of loss is not less. We want our loved ones in our lives for ever, if possible! Alex was living far away from me, on another continent. But we have had communication. We were sharing our news, thoughts, and memories, we laughed, and we were happy with each other! I knew she existed. She was my favorite aunt and I was her favorite niece. I cared about her and she cared about me and my family.
Lately she has had a sort of premonition of the end... She wanted to contact with all of us. She saw my mother in her dreams or as an apparition in her imagination. She said that she would meet her soon... She talked about her life and personal experiences, gave us advices and admonitions and her blessings... It was like a final goodbye... But I didn't want to believe it.
Now she's gone and I feel empty inside. Alexandra was the last of my parents' generation in our family. I will miss her a lot. There is no one else to talk about and remember all that we experienced with beloved relatives, parents, grandparents and recall the past as vividly as possible... There is no other source of information about our roots, our ancestors. A very important chapter of my life is closed, filled though with so many beautiful stories, sweet memories, infinite nostalgia...
Goodbye my dear Alex. Thank you very much for everything. Thank you for what we shared and for the beautiful moments we spent together. For your care and love for me, my children, my family, which you showed in practice especially now before you said goodbye. You were one of those relatives who want family unity and togetherness and you tried for it.
You will always be in my heart and thoughts. Ties that bind take on eternity, as our song "Love takes time" (Bryan Duncan) says... We both liked that song and its message...
“Love takes time, please be kind see every part of me, cause I wonna be loved.
Love ain’t blind, ties that bind take on eternity…”
Bye Alex dearest R.I.P.
Love you for ever
Your niece, Rania Chiourea
Photos-October 1995 in Greece:
1) Xenia & Alex ~Afea temple, island of Aegina.
2) Xenia, Sophy, Alex, Rania with her son Alkis ~ At Rania's house, Ag.Stefanos-Athens
